he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
