that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
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