I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
