I've blown a few things in my day
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
