and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
