he wants to bone in the snuggie
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
