I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
