Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize