All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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