Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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