I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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