his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize