his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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