I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You took a bar mat shot.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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