my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
