He asked to "fluff my boner.."
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
