i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
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