her vagina looked like bernie madoff
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
