You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
