I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
