just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
