i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
