id be glad to
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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