you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
