I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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