mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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