There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
