me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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