Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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