my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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