I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
