Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize