Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
