I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
