I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You brought string cheese to the strip club
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
