Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
