next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
