i can't believe i had my finger in that
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
