Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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