I'm sorry my penis didn't work
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
