What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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