I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
love makes seman taste better
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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