Me too!
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
