did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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