Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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