We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
