you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Randomize
