the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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