The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
this is an emotional support booty call
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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