I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
