if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
