So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
