It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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