i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
vagina is talking i cant
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
