That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
