We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
