he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
