she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
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