thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
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