Whoa Z and x make the same sound
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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