The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
