Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
