Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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